Chillin Like a Villain

If it isn’t obvious I’m an ex-comic book geek, just head over to my previous post about a new lease on life and read for yourself! I’m probably one of a select few who finds pearls of wisdom in illustrated panels adorned with “KAPOW” and “THUD!” Wise is the scoundrel by which the phrase chillin like a villain was coined.

But it’s the infamous villain laugh that’s really peaked my interest as of late. Something about it is remarkably infectious! To think one could laugh hysterically at the thought of blowing up an entire world! I mean, hey…here is a guy who’s got this WHOLE thing figured out! He’s chillin like a villain and I need some of what he’s got!

Super Heroes? They’re cool and all, but they’re also incredibly rigid. And let’s face it: Any guy who’d prefer wearing a mask and spandex, denying himself companionship so that he can give himself over to a stinking city—that guy belongs in a straitjacket. We all know this world has problems, but is it that serious? Is anything that serious?

Hence the phrase chillin like a villain! At some point in a scoundrel’s life, he simply stopped caring and decided to do things HIS way! Villains are much cooler than their righteous opponents: They have the coolest mustaches that curl at the tips, they come up with clever ways to rule the world, and they get the girl—even if it means kidnapping her. Studies have shown that damsels feel most desired when they are in distress. This of course can’t happen without a villain and his infectious laugh. Ever wonder why certain beauties end up in the same position time and again (i.e. Princess Peach in Super Mario Bros 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6)? THEY LIKE IT!

See, here’s the thing: Villains have just as many goals as any straight-laced “hero.” They show as much work ethic, drive and intelligence. But they aren’t too consumed to notice the beautiful things around them. When Lois Lane walks by, Lex Luthor STOPS what he’s doing to notice her. He voices his appreciation for her nice, round boo-tay.

Good guys finish last. Mario can save that h- if he wants to. And while he’s doing that, I’ll be somewhere chillin like a villain!

Lois knows Superman will save her time and again. He’ll scold her about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and how she should not love someone like him. And the whole time he’s yapping and ego tripping, his words are going in one ear and out the other. She can’t wait to be kidnapped again. It makes her feel free (and that’s an oxymoron for your ASS)!

This installment of Monday Unleaded is different from any I’ve written thus far, and it’s to make a critical point. Heroes follow the rules, and villains bend them. An intelligent villain, moreover, will bend and not break a single one. They know what it takes to get the “girl”—whether that be money, a job promotion, or a love interest.

Rules are usually for one thing, and that’s to keep you in check. A person will not profit, progress, or be happy in this life following a bunch of man-made rules. Most rules aren’t meant for our benefit, anyway. So learn to bend them; flip them back on the very ones who drafted them! Then you, too, can take over the world and personify the phrase chillin like a villain!

I leave you with the infamous (and highly infectious) villain laugh…

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

This is your Monday Unleaded for the week of May 19, 2013. Have a productive week!

I’m a HUGE drum and bass (dnb) fan! While I know dnb is an acquired taste, “Man of Steel” by Vinyl Syndicate fits perfectly with today’s post. I love the way the song goes from heroic to “evil.” Enjoy!

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