Back On Top Where I Belong

By Thomas Hubbard.  
Published on Monday, November 18, 2013

The bottom is a place I could never get used to. Oh, I’ve traveled there on more than one occasion—each time against my will. And yes, I have pondered the possibility of a deep and mysterious lesson I should learn from those travels. My only conclusion, however, is that YOU belong at the bottom, not me.

This, too, is my reckoning for the hardships I’ve encountered in 2013. Your hits against me have been numerous and terrible. But I am happy to declare that your hits have been thwarted, and that your henchmen now await your company in hell. For future reference, you’d have a better shot if you turned your weapon against yourself. You could never hit me. Not even on your best day.

You could also never be me, regardless of how hard you try. It’s impossible, which means that by default, “I do the impossible.” You gave it your best shot, but we all knew you were in over your head. In reality, you fooled no one but yourself.

You see, the fearlessness, charisma—everything I embody—is God-given. You can’t just mix me in a test tube and repeat it through some half-hearted swagger! It takes heart to be me, and to think, speak, and act as I do. It takes poetry. I’m one of a kind, and you’re the loser for failing to recognize this.

You’re an imbecile, too. A peon unworthy of his arms and legs. You should be forced on your belly to slither for the rest of your life. Snake. Your camouflage and cowardice sickens me.

I’m back: On top where I belong, and ready to clean house. And we’ll start by removing the imposter in my throne. By reclaiming my crown, and decapitating the head that falsely wears it. In hindsight, your legacy will be that of a retard; for even challenging a champion of my rank.

So all hail the champ. I’m back, and you should be trembling. From here on out, I will meet aggression with aggression, and fight fire with fire. You can have the bottom: I’m back on top and here to stay!

This is your Monday Unleaded for the week of November 18, 2013. Have a productive week!

Song of the Week

Started from the Bottom – Drake


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